QX club news

Sashaying into town like a bat outta Hell, London Fashion week infiltrated clubs across the capital last week. If Old Compton Street was the catwalk, the south of the river surely was the seedy backstage party – where Patsy Stone’s “You can never have enough hats, shoes and gloves” becomes ‘You can never have enough pills, pubs and parties’. With this in mind, the QX team set forth, rampaging through the capital’s clubs, deeming ourselves the Fashion Police – keeping your eyes protected from fashion atrocities. Of course, we can only judge because we’re perfect.

Like an avant-garde high couture piece, Diskocreme is sassy, stylish and ‘so right now’. First things first – those who got there early enough to see the boxer in the hallway… how lush was he? The QX Team walked down the staircase feeling flustered after the welcoming by his well-oiled physique. Seriously, what isn’t fantastic about this club? The venue, Café De Paris, is beautiful and decadent. The clientele are a friendly, up-for-it bunch – and on a Wednesday night! Much to our surprise, a fashion victim at Diskocreme was spotted – one guy was proudly sporting a hard hat (like they wear on construction sites); was it to protect him from the inevitable Thursday morning come down at work? The charges pressed by the QX FP: gross negligence. The club was packed round midnight, the dancefloor heaving – aided along nicely by a stage show featuring a scantily clad dancer with a light box, performing to Call On Me – definitely the song of the moment.

Thursday night’s clubbing took the QX team to two very different clubs. First up was Cocksure, a new night at Central Station. Sipping on our lager shandys in the corner, we scoped the crowd using our years of stakeout experience. Though hard to pinpoint just one fashion victim, our fingers, trembling and pointing, all agreed on the gentleman decked out in the leather chaps with jeans underneath, and topped off with one of those hideous leather caps. The charges pressed by the QX FP: fraud, for impersonating a member of the Village People. Punters were treated with a very horny strip show, and a multitude of sins within the darkened rooms that I couldn’t possibly repeat in the pages of this magazine. Let’s just say, if you know what you want, this is where you’ll find it.

Next up was one of our favourite haunts – Discotec. The night consistently provides a glamourazzi crowd – us included, of course. One particularly outstanding punter took our breath away – a mid twenties blonde guy that was wearing a black Adidas top, and was built like a brick shit house. If, by chance, he’s reading this: please contact the Fashion Police via the QX offices as a matter of urgency, for a routine strip search. Back to the partying, the music was thumping – the crowd screaming and hollering, adding to the get-down-and-get-funky vibe of the night. As the night drew to a close, we gave a sigh of relief, as we hoped that we could relax our FP badges for the night. Our momentary happiness was quashed however, when a grown man walked past wearing a pleated, netball style shirt. Grunting, we issued a warning: public indecency.

As Friday night was dedicated to debriefing our newest Fashion Police recruits, the team recon’d for a huge party night on Saturday. First on our beat was XXL. “Lions, tigers and clichés – oh my!”… Bet XXL hasn’t heard that one before in their four-year history. Yes, it was their fourth birthday, and the punters were definitely giving them the celebration they deserved. Fashion victims are hard to spot in a sea of bare / bear chests, so the FP were able to put their books away and party like they were off duty. The fur was flying (hope PETA doesn’t catch wind of that) and the dancefloor pumping for the unbelievable set of tunes. The night showed how XXL has gone from strength to strength since its inception, and we at QX salute any club night that can always throw such roaring, pretence free parties - here’s to another four years, guys.

It was short-lived however, as we received an emergency 999 distress call to Queer Nation. Flying through the doors of Substation South, Jaws of Life at the ready, we informed it was a false alarm. In the club lighting, someone thought they had spotted a FCUK t-shirt, but it actually said ‘fuck’ – so that’s OK, not lame and clichéd then. Crisis averted, we joined the dancefloor. Guest DJ Jeremy Newall rocked it, throwing out excellent soulful house tracks which were intermixed with old skool tunes that kept the friendly, seasoned punters happy – and the dancefloor packed - til the wee hours.

Crashing out on Sunday morning, the QX FP hung up their badges and returned to the quiet life of a mere citizen. It was short-lived though - how could we rest while there were potentially still thousands of fashion victims in London’s clubs?

Into our patrol car we tumbled, heading in the direction of Old Street – and at X we arrived, 333’s new Sunday night offering, which picks up where LA3 left off. The locals have a reputation for being a fashionable bunch, and yet again they reaffirmed this. There’s such an awesome vibe of eccentricity about it the night, aided by the funky ass tunes on the ground floor while the basement gets all sultry and sexy, and the ‘too-cool-for-school’ attitude. As expected, the FP needn’t have concerns in the club – though we did get sent all aquiver by some of the discrepancies walking the streets. Unfortunately, that’s not our division – Highway patrol takes care of them – so from the north to the south we went, for our last club for the weekend…

Midnight Orange at Fire. At this stage of the weekend, we decided to leave our badges at the cloakroom. Orange is about hedonistic fun, not caring about wearing white shoes after Labour Day. Joining the sweaty mass on the dancefloor, we kissed our weekend behind, and got busy to the funky house tunes. Most of the punters have been at it since the night before, so definitely know how to have a good time – and it’s contagious. You can easily lose track of the time here, and before we knew it – it was midday on Monday. Any club that you can party at for that long is a winner in our books.

As we left the club, and our week’s partying behind, we glanced in the mirror. That messed up hair… black, tired eyes… dishevelled facial features… we’d finally achieved the model’s much favoured heroin chic look! Pouting like mad, we retuned to our homes. But we warned - we will be walking the beat at some or all of the following parties:

Gay men and mazes go together like wine and cheese, so expect Action’s Total Confusion party to be filled to the brim. Action’s biggest maze ever is being erected for this special night only – make sure you and your mates bring your mobiles, otherwise you may lose each other for the whole seven hours! Of course, there’s also London’s largest and busiest dancefloor, stunning 3D visuals and outside terrace to keep the capital’s hottest party crowd entertained.

DTPM is set to explode this Sunday for the launch of Reza’s Soul Execution EP, with the DTPM All Stars and the man himself, Reza, playing a two-hour set. At QX, we think DTPM stands Definitely Total Party Monsters – so if you haven’t experienced the vibe yourself, get down to Fabric this Sunday night.

Enough to make you salivate…The 3rd of October will also see the world’s most loved monthly party, Salvation, celebrating its 6th birthday in style. Thanks to those signature trademark funky sounds and huge productions values, Salvation has become one huge global party that has provided soirees on every single continent. To celebrate, Gonzalo is releasing a new CD Global Salvation – expect to hear those tracks and more played by the Salvation All Stars at Pacha.

You don’t have to die to go to Heaven this Saturday, though after dancing your ass off to Wayne G’s exclusive seven hour set, your poor tired feet certainly won’t feel like part of this realm. Get set for five rooms of musical mayhem and three floors – there’s something for everyone, with special guests and lots of surprises.

Outrageously outrageous hedonistic club Booteeq is celebrating London’s most infamous DJ Fat Tony this Sunday. The first 200 people through the door will get a free copy of Fat Tony’s Mixed Up Booteeq CD and a free copy of AXM – though we don’t need to mention you can get QX free every week, do we?

Mummy’s boys that need some correction shouldn’t miss The Daddy, every Monday at The Arches. Here to satisfy the adult in you (whether you want to be told or be the one in charge), there’s a charged atmosphere with a faint aroma of smoke, deep pulsating music and slow moving shadows.

After the last sell out success, Club Kali crew delve into autumn with the October Mix on Friday the 1st, followed two weeks later by the Navratri Mix – nine days of dancing for the Hindu festival Navratri begins at the world’s largest and original Asian music lesbian & gay club. An authentic mixing and blending of South Asian recipes where Bhangra meets house, and Bollywood meets R&B on every first and third Friday of the month at the The Dome.

London’s latest addition to the Skinhead scene has just been announced – Oi M8, a new monthly skin night starting the Saturday the 2nd of October at Arch 2 of the Hoist in Vauxhall, and continuing on the first Saturday of each month. The unique cruisy atmosphere is perfect for skin lads – the new cruise maze is real sleazy, and it’s sure to be a big hit.

The Orange phenomenon remains the one of the most talked about parties of the moment – providing that unique funky Orange sound. Fancy a double serving? Then get your boots on this Sunday, when Orange takes over the Fridge for another one off spectacular, Sunday Night Orange - from 10pm til 5am. It’s then only a short trip to Vauxhall for the Monday morning party. The juicy fruits on the decks include Paul Heron, Hugh Stevenson and Stevie B. Get down to Fire after 3am for your second vitamin C fix.

Also from the Orange crew is A:M – the perfect recipe for taking the discerning clubber into the weekend and beyond. The A:M regulars this week are Severino, Paul Heron, David Jimenez, and Gonzalo hosting room two. A::M takes over Fire after 3am on Friday night / Saturday morning.

Adding a bit of Latin spirit, Spanish DJ Carlos Rodrigues is special guest on the decks alongside resident Martin Confusions at Dirty Dishes this Friday, the 1st of October. Get to Substation South early for happy hour, with 2 for 1 on house spirits and selected beers until midnight.

Fusion is kickin’ it at the re-launched Fridge on the second and forth Fridays of each month – though those that turn up to Fridge on the 22nd of October expecting Fusion will be left feeling cold, as its taking that night off to return on the 12th of November. Fusion will deliver live surprise PAs, live percussion and outstanding levels of production and entertainment we’ve come to expect from the team behind A:M and Orange.

Another new entry on the club scene is Blah Blah Blah, a one monthly night aiming for a down to earth and affordable, attitude free atmosphere. Fresh new resident DJs (Mach 1 and Deepwolf) won’t be scared to pump out an eclectic array of sounds for your Sunday night partying, from 10:30pm at George IV in Brixton.

Dishy (Juju Babies), Rubicks and Faetal take over Electrogogo this Thursday, alongside resident DJs Mark Moore, Frankie D and Roi.

Already missing the summer warmth? Fly down to Megawoof! and rub up against the horniest men in town – there’s nothing like a bit of fur friction to get you feeling hot. It’s hunks who funk this Saturday at Crash - for all types of men who are passionate about clubbing, dancing, music, cruising and boozing.

Breaking news! Due to the outstanding success of its Friday night events, SWEAT is going twice weekly with a second night on Sundays from the 3rd of October. You’ll find SWEAT between The RVT and Fire in the South Lambeth Railway Arches, and deodorant at Boots.

Do they tell tales in Kings Cross? Why not ask the Fiction clubbers? This Friday night clubbing sensation keeps rocking it through October, with resident DJs Malcolm Duffy, Miguel Pellitero and Justin Ballard getting the weekends partying started this Friday at the Cross.

Breaking down all barriers, Bootylicious hits up Crash this next Friday the 8th of October - featuring two rooms of the finest RnB, funk, soul and disco, as well as super sexy gogo boys.

It’s going to be bursting with glamour as Vida Las Vegas, winner of Entertainer of the year at the 2003 Annual Diva Awards, launches her brand new cabaret room exclusively at Fruit Machine on the 13th of October.

Get your (work experience) PA to schedule these dates in for you – Popstarz present Le Tigre live on the 15th of October for what promises to be an amazing performance. Trade is back to Turnmills on the 30th of October for its birthday, definitely a massive party not to be missed. Also celebrating its birthday is Ghetto’s legendary Tuesday night bash Don’t Call Me Babe, on the 12th of October.